I’m sure there are a million blogs that talk about this sort of thing but I wanted to document my take on it.
I look on Instagram and see all these sensational women blogging, earning a living from it (or even just nailing their normal 9-5 job), bossing being a mummy (so it seems) and just generally setting a very high expectation for motherhood. I mean power to you sista but give us a break.
Now granted some of them may have totally angelic babies and a job they love, but some of them also have night nurses, nannies, people taking their photos, people cleaning their house, a stylist, loads of cash for hair and makeup, the list goes on…
Yes, before I had a baby I was absolutely adamant I’d put makeup on every day, maintain my hair, work out everyday (I didn’t even do this pre-baby so why on earth I thought I’d start after a baby is beyond me), go out all the time (both day and night), cook james tea every night, clean the house, and be a social butterfly…safe to say I had abso no idea what I was talking about.
Now to be fair, I do put makeup on everyday, but only cos it makes me feel better and some days I’m pretty sure I looked better before I put it on I’m so tired when I do it. I try to shower everyday yes, but sometimes only cos Reunah likes the sound of it, less about actually getting clean (scratbag)!
Some days I wake up and want to put on a great outfit, some days I sit in my non underwired bra (which technically I don’t need to wear anymore – a wire would be a welcome addition back into my wardrobe) and pj bottoms all day – I don’t even have to have had a bad night for these days, just cba!
In addition to the social media pressure, being a new mummy is a constant pi$$ing contest with other new mummy’s if you let it be. My baby sleeps 12 hours a night (no longer your friend), my baby rolled at 4 weeks (liar), my baby smiled at a week (fabulous), my baby can drive…I mean the list goes on.
In reality has there ever been a baby who has grown up to say in an interview “well I did smile before all my other baby friends, and I’m pretty sure I was the first to crawl too” – I think not! Let’s just let babies be babies and develop when they feel like it, and try not to bench mark them against all their over qualified super baby friends.
There’s also a ridiculous pressure to love every second of mummyhood, now granted I have actually been guilty of saying things like “oh I actually enjoy my nighttime feeds now, I like to treasure my time with him – after all he won’t always need me like this” – I mean easy to say when your baby wakes up, feeds then goes back to sleep, not so much if you have a screaming all night kinda baby!
In reality there have been nights when I have been so tired I’m not even sure what’s going on, and I’m far from “enjoying” myself. I love Reunah to pieces, but let’s face it you go from being responsible for no one, to 9 months being pregnant, to being in charge of a baby human with no sleep or prior training – nothing can really prepare you for that.
So the next time you see a yummy mummy on Instagram, someone tells you being a mummy is easy and they love it all the time, or that their baby is a superhuman who walks, talks and sleeps on cue know that they are most probably telling porkies and hiding the fact that they have been using dry shampoo for five days running, their baby does sleep but only in the day and they filter the shit out of every picture they post 🙈