Since having a baby I think that whilst my mummy skills have definitely come along leaps an bounds my friendship skills have suffered slightly. I’m not saying I have become a bitch…I’m still a nice person (I hope) but my focus has definitely shifted and find myself asking myself, “Does it make me a bad friend…
- If I don’t text back. I’m not talking about not texting back within the hour, more just forgetting completely. It’s not that I don’t want to chat to that particular friend, its just that I’m usually in the middle of something baby related (bore off I hear my non-baby friends saying) and either can’t be bothered trying to maintain a text conversation whilst trying to say hold a crying baby or I just haven’t got a second to reply- and if I try it will come across pissed off and annoyed as it’ll likely be a one word answer followed by a swift “offline” status. So to all my friends I haven’t replied to, I love ya and please accept me back when I decide I have time to reply again ha!
- Because I spend most of my time with my “New Mummy Friends” (to all my new mummy friends I abso love spending time with you!). I remember before I had a baby thinking it was annoying how all my friends with babies spent all their time with new mums, like they got on with them better now, or had more in common with them – like I didn’t understand being a new mum (I didn’t). But actually, what I was forgetting is that it can be really difficult to actually do anything when you have a baby so hanging out with friends going through the same thing, with toys, nappies, etc. to hand makes it a hell of a lot easier. You do also create a real bond with the friends you go through an experience with, like becoming a mum or similarly going to school or uni with someone. So I just figure my “New Mummy” friends are just my next phase of life friends, not to say I don’t want my old life friends, I just have a fab new set to add to the collection now. All this said, my mid year resolution is to make more effort with my golden oldies as I love them muchly!
- If I don’t want to travel anywhere more than a mile from home. I actually annoy myself here but I find it such a faff going anywhere, probably cos I bottle feed and have to take all my gear with me! I also live in a really amazing little town (Ilkley, otherwise known as the Ilkley bubble) which has pretty much everything (other than a Zara, a White Company and a H&M – then my life would be complete) making it hard to agree to meet anywhere else. I am trying to be a better friend and visit other people’s houses haha but most of the time I’ll do it without Reu (sob) to make it easier and remove the stress of a time constraint, which sort of defeats the object as most people want to see him more than they do me!
- That I only want to meet at specific times (yes I’m that ANNOYING mum who talks of feeding times and naps, BORE OFF). My baby needs feeding every 3 hours min, which requires a sterilized bottle, boiling water (which then has to cool) and formula. He also poos, so needs changing (which can be messy!!!) and loves a snooze at least three times a day. I’m lucky that Reu can fall asleep mots places but ideally I want him to be in his own bed cos I figure I prefer my own bed so surely he must do too, so yeah I like to be near home at these times, which means I can only meet in short bursts at specific times, annoying but the way I roll these days.
- If I cancel plans at the last minute. This happens a lot, and is deffo a result of having a baby that has no respect for parents sleeping cycles! More often than not, the night before the day I have made plans, I have a terrible night with Reu and wake up totally exhausted, and feeling a bit ill as a result. I then swiftly text said friend I have plans with to cancel, most likely for the 2nd of 3rd time in a row but quite literally cannot face seeing anyone as it will involve so much work getting washed, make up, dressing, packing a baby bag, driving…it’s realy annoying and I often regret it a few hours afterwards as I start to feel more human but just part of the new mummy package!
So there we have it, I hope I’m not a bad friend but sorry to all my friends for the above! I love you all, and will understand when you do the same to me when you have a baby 😉