Well, who actually knew there were so many ways to feel like a bad parent 😱 and that something as joyous as food could be the root of some pretttty heavy parent guilt (I feel I should answer my rhetorical question here and say “naaaat me sista”).
I wanted to write a blog on this cos I have absolutely found myself lying to pretty much everyone about this topic and thought I’d finally come clean. Why I feel the need to lie is another blog post altogether, but I probs blame the same people who invented the breast is best phrase.
Basically, the lie I refer to goes something like this (I’ll use a health visitor as the other party, but it’s pretty much everyone I meet who doesn’t know me very well therefore I feel the need to lie to haha – sometimes lie to ppl that do know me tbh depends how guilty I’m feeling that day)…
HV: does he eat well
Me: oh yes so well, wolfs his food down he does
HV: and do you cook all his meals?
Me: omg yes of course, I mean that’s my job as mother isn’t it! Home cooked all the way *big smiles*
HV: ahh that’s great, cos these pouches just aren’t as good for them.
Me: for surrrre, I hate pouches, never use them. Would never use them in fact, couldn’t agree more! Pure filth really.
So yes that’s my bare faced lie right there, cos in reality, until about two/three weeks ago I pretty much solely fed Reu on pouches (and picky bits like bread and baby crisps and the odd orange) and pre packed baby meals 🤤
Initially I started on them cos you have to start on purées at that stage and ain’t nobody got time to purée their own fruit and veg. But as Reu has got older I have just found myself buying the next stage, from no brand in particular. I like that you can use them anywhere, buy them anywhere and that they are fool proof in terms of getting it right and not worrying about choking your child on something unsuitable for their age.
Now I have tried to cook my own food on a couple of occasion, driven by guilt and the desire to be one of those organised mummy’s who is just great at it all. I really love the idea of being prepared and wholesome but have tried and failed. The first batch Reu just hated and wouldn’t eat at all, and I’m not one for force feeding so that was the end of that. The second batch cook I cooked the morning of the day I came down with the norovirus, which Reu then got – so I chucked the lot away!
My new approach is to just give him things we would have without the salt, as the batch cooking malarkey just didn’t work for me. He’s already had fish and chips, pie and peas and chocolate cake so he’s well on the way (oh and a couple of prawn crackers but shhhh).
Just like with breast feeding, I’m all about the making sure they’re fed part and less about the where it came from (I’m yet to give him a happy meal but rest assured that will happen at some point soon).
I’ve found feeding a lot more chilled recently, when I give him stuff like chopped ham, cheese sticks, sausage, etc. as opposed to getting upset and frustrated when he won’t eat a from scratch baby risotto of which I have 27 portions frozen and ready to go.
I will still give him a pre made pot if I’m out or have no food in the house, I just felt the time was right for him to eat bigger bits of food so have tried to make his food a bit more normal, here are some things I’ve tried and he liked (note, sometimes it takes him a good 20 mins to get into a meal and it usually helps if I just ignore him while he’s eating and let him pick at it):
Ham picky dinner
Any sandwich (absolute carb king)
Mash and any form of pastry (not ideal I’m aware)
Tortola wrap pizza
So yeah, another part of having a baby I had no clue about, but has caused me much guilt and worry 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️